Reaching out for help
When should I look for additional help for my child?
Ups and downs are normal, but there should be a balance. If you're concerned, always err on the side of caution. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself to figure out if your child is experiencing something out of the ordinary.
How often is the concerning behavior happening? If your child seems sad, is it happening once a week or all of the time? If tantrums happen, how long do they last?
How much is the concerning behavior interfering with your child's life?
You can also talk to people you trust — relatives, friends, or other trusted sources. The Child Mind Institute also offers a Symptom Checker that can help guide you toward next steps if you are worried about your child.
How to know if your child may be experiencing a problem
It’s normal and healthy for kids to experience a range of emotions. Kids often cope in ways that bring relief and do no harm (talking about feelings, seeking comfort, finding a brief distraction, listening to music, etc.), but it can be concerning if they are coping in ways that are, or can become, destructive (like lashing out at others, pushing away their feelings, or turning to substances).
If you're noticing ongoing, marked changes in your child's behavior or emotions, there could be a more serious issue at hand.
- Changes in habits, such as eating, sleeping, self-care, or socializing.
- Mood swings or irritability.
- Difficulty or neglect of self-care, personal hygiene, etc.
- They are fearful of or avoid certain environments, situations, or social interactions (like going to school or meeting friends).
- Using drugs or alcohol.
- Unusual anger, getting in fights, or suddenly not getting along with others.
- Increases in reckless, impulsive, out-of-control behaviors.
- A decline in school performance.
Where should I go for outside help?
Check in with a trusted pediatrician, mental health professional, or teacher if you're feeling at all worried. Experts in child development can help you distinguish between expected developmental challenges, and feelings or behaviors that are more concerning.
The American Academy of Pediatrics has a tool to help you search for an AAP member pediatrician. And the NAMI Help Line is a free peer-support service with volunteers to answer questions, offer support, and provide practical next steps.
I'm looking for affordable resources.
Many communities have hospitals or other clinics that can adjust their costs based on your income and insurance coverage. Trusted school counselors, clergy or primary care clinicians should be able to help you find the right resources.
I'm looking for culturally relevant resources
Kids of color are often over-diagnosed by mental health professionals, and under-referred for care. Look for therapists and medical professionals who have expertise in working with children of color, and are mindful of their unique pressures.
Psychology Today lets you filter for culturally sensitive therapists. Therapy for Black Girls and Therapy for Latinx let you search for providers by your address, Innopsych will help you find a therapist of color. And Black Mental Health Alliance can connect you to a culturally-competent mental health professional through their database.
If you or your child are in a crisis
You are not alone, and help is always available. Get immediate support 24/7. Reach out to the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.
You can also call 877-990-8585 to talk to someone in Cantonese, Mandarin, Fujianese, Japanese or Korean. It’s free, and everything you tell them is confidential, unless it’s essential to contact emergency services to keep you or your child safe.